Hi, I thought it's about time we had another post.
Something that's often occurred to me in my experience of sex education in American schools is that while we often get "pregnancy ed", "STD ed" or "drug/alcohol ed", we tend not to actually have "sex ed". Other than how to protect yourself from pregnancy and sexually-transmitted diseases, small attention is given to sex. We are taught how to use a condom, but only in reference to the sort of sex that makes babies. Anal, oral, that kind of thing is never discussed, nor is the possibility that one might want to have sex with someone of the same sex. Masturbation is certainly not mentioned. And, of course, abstinence is offered as the best protection against pregnancy and STDs. The thought that teenagers might have sex for fun seems not to have occurred to the types who devise sex ed curriculums.
There are members of the religious right who would like to see abstinence-only sex education in our schools, and then on the opposite end of the spectrum there is the sex ed programme in Sweden, for example. Swedish sex ed is compulsory from second grade and contains a wide variety of age-appropriate material that actually teaches kids about what it might be like to be a sexually-active adult (see this article). I remember going to the doctor when I was around 14 and being asked if I was "sexually active", and I had no idea what that meant. Isn't this the sort of thing we should be teaching our young people — or was I just unusually naïve back then?
So how is sex education approached in your part of the world? Should the subject be left up to individual parents, or should there be standardised school curricula — and if so, how detailed should they be?
Finally, let me just state unequivocally that (in my opinion) a sex ed curriculum which teaches abstinence only or which doesn't address issues of recreational sex, relationships, etc. is being willfully blind to the behaviour of contemporary teenagers.
Monday, October 09, 2006
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14 comments:
I agree (how terrible a comment, but I will elaborate).
Sex Ed is ultimately trying to make you aware of "sex" and how to do it "safely." But because it has been avoided since childhood, even the most brazen will have some difficulty trying to make it clear all at once during a 2 hours block. And the shy ones just sorta sit and laugh, not rly comprehending the teacher.
It's like alcohl consumption. It's been shunned and never rly talked about; so retarded people drink too much when they can and end up dying.
I'll say this:
I learned far more from a porn site than I ever did from sex ed.
Same. After having sex ed for about three years I still was a little apprehensive about masturbating because I thought that my body could only produce a limited amount of sperm in my lifetime, and I was wasting it. I've learned pretty much everything I know about sex from porn sites.
As far as sex ed in school goes, I agree with how Sweden does it, but I would still start it at fifth or sixth grade. I wasn't concerned about anything sexual until then anyway. But yes, I agree the sex ed should talk about masturbation, the actual sex act, and just sex in general; rather than just STDs and methods of birth control.
Sex Education in the UK is...good on paper, apalling in practice.
At its best, it's pretty decent and liberal. There's a sort of 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' attitude to what is covered. Schools essentially cover whatever they feel is sensible. There was a case recently whan a fundie group (membership approximately 2) started a campaign against a catholic school that was teaching contraception. I saw an amusing quote from the headteacher:
"Our syllabus is completely in line with practice in other Catholic schools". (subtext: But don't tell the Pope).
Unfortunately, this relies on schools to be good. Resources are stretched. We have a mandatory national curriculum, and schools are not assessed on 'pass marks' for sex education. Thus, in increasing numbers of schools, it is minimal - perhaps the showing of a video to a crowded class. Result: The UK has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe - and rising.
So, it's a shame. In theory we're liberal..there's nothing that says teachers can't cover masturbation, gay sex, whatever. But only the good schools (and the brave teachers!) do. 'Morality' hasn't overly affected what is taught, per se, but it certainly stifles any debate on the inadequacy of our Sex Education. The risk is that a can of worms would be opened, and the churches would get all hot under the collar.
(btw - our Secretary of State for education is a member of Opus Dei).
You should contact (Dr) Z on h2g2 for his views. He teaches Sex in schools. Nice guy, too. I've met him in RL.
A couple of anecdotes to end on:
Being a middle-class liberal, I had no problems with my kids knowing about the mechanics aged 4. They expressd an interest and we bought a picture book. A few years later, my son asked me about something that was clearly troubling him:
Daddy...when the seed come out of your penis...does it hurt?
Quite the opposite, I'd say. :-)
Then there were some friends who lived in a largely Muslim neighbourhood. A boy at their son's after-school club was talking about how babies come from God. He told him:
No they don't! Daddy puts a seed in mummy's tummy and they grow there!
They were called in and told that there wasn't a major problem, but it was an inappropriate topic for discussion.
They insisted that the other boy's parents would be spoken to also, since he was the one who started it...plus their son was telling the truth.
btw...
Taking lessons from a porn video...bad idea!
Yeah, learning about sex from porn isn't really a good idea, I know. But where else am I going to learn this stuff?
This'll interest you, emr:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,1921339,00.html
Very interesting article, Edward. I've noticed this phenomenon as well — or at least that non-straight girls tend to be less afraid of sex than their heterosexual counterparts. My theory here is that out LGBT kids are forced to confront the concept of sex and sexuality in order to come out in the first place. Furthermore, in coming out LGBT youth ally themselves with a culture completely structured around sexual preferences, so it's perfectly realistic to suspect that sex might enter into the discussion more, as it were. However, that just means a hightened level of sex education is necessary, one that encompasses all sexualities.
It came to my attention the other day that at my school, while the grades 9-11 students are taking a standardised test on Wednesday, the grade 12 students will be attending an assembly concerning much sex ed stuff that they haven't yet taught us in school. I don't know what depth they go into, and how this would be different than endless "STDs will kill you; you can get pregnant and ruin your life" repetition, but it struck me nevertheless that they wait until almost the end of high school to give us this information. I'm terribly curious; I wish I was in grade 12 so I could see what it's about.
I think it's pretty obvious: the reason they don't teach you how to have sex is because they don't want you to. The point of sex ed is to teach teens who are going to have sex anyway how to do it safely.
And I don't even see how they could justify teaching sex. it's not an academic subject, and it doesn't fit under phys ed or extracurricular either. (yikes) And once you start teaching a 'life-skill' like sex, where do you stop? Why not throw in etiquette class?
Besides, the word 'compulsory' coupled with secondary education and controversial topics turns me into a raving liberal. I don't think anyone should be compelled to study a subject they object to on religious or moral lifestyle grounds.
As for the Swedish system, you sentence "contains a wide variety of age-appropriate material that actually teaches kids about what it might be like to be a sexually-active adult" sounds like it comes from a brochure written by a capitalist swede trying to sell the system.
I'd need to see a couple of studies done on students who went through the whole system to beleive that it didn't just produce teens that know 7 different ways to make out on a street corner. Because the time could be just as well spent on etiquette.
That said, I do think they should teach the sex ed before high school. By that time most kids have gotten their information elsewhere.
Thought you would find this educational ...
http://raincoaster.com/2006/12/06/safe-sex-british-style/
Dang - that link didn't work. Trying again...
Safe Sex
This website about masturbation does mention female masturbation, though it focusses on the male variety.
most females I know dont actually want to lay around as much as their socialised too maybe teaching it puts too much pressure on them to conform and be loose
Anonymous, teaching safe sex can be one of the most valuable ways of preventing all sorts of sex-related problems, including STDs and pregnancy, and sex education can also help to eradicate many prejudices like homophobia and sexism.
Yeah, sexism - like making ridiculous, generalized statements about women/girls and their sexuality.
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